Discernment Flows from Identity

When you truly know who you are in Jesus, it changes everything—including how you see relationships.

The more grounded I become in Christ, the more clearly I begin to recognize what’s not from Him. It’s not about fault-finding, judgement, or bitterness. It’s about spiritual clarity.

To be honest, it took me years to understand the value of discernment and boundaries because I’m naturally someone who sees the best in people. I love hard. I extend grace quickly. And for a long time, I confused niceness with godliness-thinking that saying “yes” and staying quiet, or making excuses for people was somehow the right thing to do. But, God in His mercy began to show me that discernment IS a form of love—not just for others, but for myself and for the work He is doing within me.

There have been relationships I deeply cherished and prayed for, people I wanted to believe the best about. But the Holy Spirit gently opened my eyes—not to expose them, but to protect me. When your identity is rooted in Christ, He gives you the wisdom to recognize what’s healthy, what’s harmful, and what no longer aligns with His plan for your life.

I had to learn that:

• Love doesn’t always mean unlimited access.

• Kindness doesn’t mean tolerating dysfunction.

• Peace doesn’t come from avoiding hard truths—it comes from walking in them.

God showed me that it’s possible to be full of grace and still carry boundaries. To forgive without enabling. To hope for someone’s healing without letting their brokenness distort mine. This kind of discernment only flows from intimacy with Jesus—when His voice becomes louder than guilt, people-pleasing, or fear of being misunderstood.

God has shown me that it’s possible to see someone’s brokenness without becoming responsible for it. To forgive without enabling. To be kind and still say, “This far, and no more.” This kind of discernment only flows from intimacy with Jesus—when His voice becomes louder than your own emotions.

If you’re in a season where God is opening your eyes, don’t resist it. It’s not rejection. It’s redirection. He is trying to protect the person you are becoming. He is strengthening you.

You are His.

And because you are His, you are worth protecting.