Obedient but Lonely: When Following God Still Feels Hard

There are moments in my walk with God that feel deeply fulfilling—and others that feel quietly heavy.

Yesterday was one of those heavy moments.

I showed up where I felt led.

I obeyed.

I did the work God placed in front of me.

And I wasn’t alone.

I had a friend with me —supportive, present, and kind—and I’m genuinely grateful for that. I even had the support of my boy. But even in good company, I felt a familiar ache rise up. Because friendship, as life-giving as it is, doesn’t replace the longing for a spouse.

It wasn’t loneliness from isolation.

It was the quiet realization that some moments are meant to be shared differently.

Following the Lord does not remove our humanity.

Obedience does not cancel longing.

Faith does not erase the ache of waiting.

I love God deeply. I trust His timing. I believe I am walking in His will. But even in obedience, there are days when the wait feels long—especially when you’re building, serving, and showing up without the partnership you desire.

This kind of longing isn’t a rejection of gratitude. It’s an acknowledgment of design. God created us for connection, and while community matters deeply, there is a distinct place in the heart reserved for covenant.

Wanting a spouse doesn’t mean I’m incomplete. It means I’m honest about how I was created.

There’s a misconception in faith spaces that if you’re truly surrendered, you won’t feel the ache anymore. But surrender doesn’t mean silence. It doesn’t mean pretending you’re unaffected. It means bringing the ache to God instead of burying it.

So today, I chose honesty.

Still faithful—but tired.

Still trusting—but longing.

Still believing—but human.

The waiting doesn’t mean God has forgotten me.

The loneliness doesn’t mean I’m behind.

It simply means the promise hasn’t arrived yet.

And until it does, I will continue to show up—obedient, grateful, and honest—trusting that God is working in the unseen, even when the wait feels heavy.

If you’re in a season where you’re surrounded by people yet still longing for partnership, know this: you’re not ungrateful, and you’re not faithless. You’re human… and God sees you.

Here’s a prayer for the waiting heart…

Lord,

Thank You for meeting me in my obedience—even when it feels heavy.

Thank You for the people You’ve placed around me and for the ways You sustain me through community.

Today, I bring You the honest parts of my heart.

The gratitude and the longing.

The faith and the fatigue.

The trust and the tears.

Help me to wait without hardening.

To hope without striving.

To remain open, surrendered, and soft in the process.

When the waiting feels long, remind me that You are still working.

When loneliness creeps in, remind me that I am seen.

And when my heart grows weary, strengthen me with Your peace.

I trust You with what I desire and with how You will fulfill it.

Until then, I choose obedience, honesty, and hope—one day at a time.

Amen.